Ten Foot Poll

The Power of Positive Polling

2006-05-15T06:50:00.000-07:00

Positivity

How positive are you?
I'm pretty positive about everything.
I'm absolutely positive about everything.
I'm positive I'm right and you're wrong.
I'm pretty negative
I'm unbelievably negative.
I'm positive that things are rotten.
I wouldn't say that I haven't not refused not to refrain from lacking a need for unnegativity.
Other (leave comment)

Check Out the Plusses and Minuses

War

2006-04-10T09:10:00.000-07:00

War
Will the United States be at War With Iran Before Election Day?
Yes
No

view results

In My Life

2006-03-23T13:19:00.000-08:00

Musical Survey
The title of what Beatles song best describes you or your life?
Magical Mystery Tour
I'm A Loser
Getting Better
Nowhere Man
I Feel Fine
Revolution
Yellow Submarine
Other (leave comment)

Help!

How much is enough?

2006-03-01T08:19:00.000-08:00

Say "When"
How much is enough?
You can never have enough.
I don't need too much, just enough.
Just a little more...
Enough is enough!
Just start piling it on. I'll let you know.
I got too much already!
Too much isn't even close to enough.
Other (leave comment)

Had enough already?

The Olsen Twins--Yay or Nay?

2006-02-17T11:38:00.000-08:00

Today's topic is the Olsen Twins, but as always feel free to vote on any pollon the site.

How do you feel about
The Olsen Twins?
The Olsen Twins are cool!
The Olsen Twins are hot!
The Olsen Twins should DIE!
If there were no Olsen Twins, I would die.
God will wreak his vegenance on the Olsen Twins.
I want to have sex with the Olsen Twins.
I want to have sex without the Olsen Twins.
Eh. If they were octuplets, that's be kinda neat.
Other (leave comment)

Double Your Pleasure

It's February!

2006-02-07T09:23:00.000-08:00

February is often considered the worst month of the year, but is it really so bad? What do you consider to be the highlight of your yearly 4-week stay in the second month?

As always, feel free to vote in any poll on the site.

What's the best part of February?
February Highlights
President's Day
Groundhog Day
The Super Bowl is finally over
Swimsuit Issue of Sports Illustrated
Shoveling snow out of the driveway
Baseball starts spring training
All the crappy stuff in all those other months isn't happening now
Other (leave comment)

Relieve Your Boredom

Now or Never?

2006-01-13T12:28:00.000-08:00

2006 To You, Too

2006-01-10T12:49:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the Ten Foot Poll. As always, feel free to vote in any of the polls in any post on this blog. Thanks for y our votes.

Are you optimistic about 2006?
Yup. Gonna be great.
Nope. Gonna blow chunks.
I'm seriously worried about the political/economic situation.
I'm rich. Who cares about the political/economic situation?
I suppose it's conceivable that not everything will totally go completely wrong this year.
I don't really believe in time.
Other (leave message)

Peek into the future.

Counting the Loot

2005-12-27T05:21:00.000-08:00

Did you get what you want for Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, or other seasonal holiday?
Yes! I'm rich! Bwahahahahahahaha!
No. My family and friends are a bunch of cheap bastards.
All I wanted was peace on earth, so I guess we'll have to see.
Underwear and socks. What a gyp!
Next time I see Santa I'm gonna kick his ass.
Shut up! I can't concentrate on my Xbox games.
Other (leave comment)

Rip off the wrapping

Salutations!

2005-12-09T11:09:00.000-08:00

Bill O'Reilly says there's a war on Christmas, and he's trying to organize a boycott of stores that say Happy Holidays to customers instead of Merry Christmas. The religious right is also upset with the White House for sending out Happy Holiday greetings instead of Merry Christmas cards. So today's question concerns holiday greetings.

Greetings
What seasonal greeting do you most commonly use?
Merry Christmas!
Happy Chanukah!
Season's Greetings!
Happy Holidays!
Happy Kwanzaa!
Fuckin' Ay, Man!
Get out of my way!
Die, heretic!
Other (leave comment)!

Send Out the Clowns?

2005-12-02T07:31:00.000-08:00

Do you like clowns?
I like clowns.
I hate clowns!
I am indifferent to clowns.
Clowns are creepy.
I have never known anyone in my entire life who liked clowns. What's the point of clowns?
I once knew someone way back who I think didn't mind clowns too much.
Down with Clowns!
I used to watch Bozo.
I still watch Bozo.
Other (leave comment)

For Female Voters Only

2005-11-28T11:50:00.000-08:00

Which one of the following are you?
Woman
Lady
Girl
Gal
Chick
Doll
Babe
Other

Remember when...

2005-11-22T05:03:00.000-08:00

How dependable is your memory?
I can't remember.
I have a photographic memory.
I have a pornographic memory.
I can remember everything anybody ever said to me that was stupid, which is a lot, believe me.
I have a memory like a, uh, what's that animal everyone says has a really good memory?
I'll remember this, pal!
Only 64 MB. I could use an upgrade.
Other (leave comment)

Refresh your memory

Sorry About This One, Folks

2005-11-17T11:55:00.000-08:00

What do you call
a country where everyone drives a pink car?
A pink carnation.
Other

Look under the hood

Sex on TV

2005-11-14T05:14:00.000-08:00

As always, please fell free to vote in any poll on any page of this site at any time.

A Kaiser Family Report says the amount of sex portrayed on TV has doubled in the last few years.
Is there too much sex on TV?
Yes
No
There isn't enough sex on TV.
Sex is OK on cable, but they should get it off the networks.
They should get off on the networks.
There's a lot of sex on TV so to balance it out people should watch a lot of TV while they're having sex.
How can you have sex on a TV??
Whatcha doin' after the show?
Other (leave comment)

Peek through the keyhole

INTERMEDIATE RESULTS!

2005-11-11T08:55:00.000-08:00

Ten Foot Poll, a new polling blogsite, has been collecting polling results for more than a twelve-hundredth of a century. It’s time for presenting some intermediary results and making wild assumptions about the world we live in.

Way back on October 12, 2005, the Ten Foot Poll made its first attempt to gauge the mood of the nation. To find out the state of aggressiveness, we asked the question “Are you gonna do something about it?” The results are shocking: Fully one-third of people said, yes, they are going to do something about it. 16.7% of people said that no, they were not going to do something about it. And 50% of those polled said, “You and what army?” It’s an aggressive world we live in.

To find out just what kind of people are around us, Ten Foot Poll asked the question, “Who are you?” Fortunately, 55.6% of respondents said they were Us, and only 11.1% said they were Them. We’re glad to be living with our own kind. Somewhat disturbingly, though, 11.1% of people said, “I'm Them! Us suck!” Even more disturbingly, 11.1% of people said, “I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.” This has the Ten Foot Poll quite confused.

Informing the world is the raison d'être of the Ten Foot Poll, so to get a feel for the task we have ahead of us, we set about determining what proportion of our audience needed information. The results were not encouraging. In response to the question, “Are you ignorant,” a full 54.5% of respondents said they didn’t know.

We are happy to report, however, that we live in a Law-and-Order society. In response to the question, “Should Karl Rove and Scooter Libby be indicted?,” 58.8% of people answered, “Hang the bastards!”

We also discovered that we live in a world changing its habits regarding news. We asked, “What’s the best source of news?” and only 16% thought it was “Media.” 4% of people thought their own blogs were the best source of news, but the old sources are still the most popular: 20% of people said the best news is on the back of Rice Krispies boxes.

A poll to determine people’s political affiliations reported much more variety than we would have thought. 28.2% of respondents said they were Democrats, 7.7% Republicans, and 20.5% independents. But 2.6% said they were Greens, 7.7% were Monarchists, 2.6% Neoreactionary Progressives, and 5.1% were whatever their wives wanted them to be. In addition, 7.7% said, “Elephants. No, I mean...what are those other things? Mules? Wait--do they have pandas?”

Possibly the most revealing poll is our most recent: “What do you do when you get a pistachio nut with a shell you can't open?” A plurality of respondents, 36.4%, said, “Throw it back in the jar and worry about it later.” This kind of procrastination does not auger well. Although 18.2% said, “Get out the power tools,” a proactive if unsubtle stance, thankfully not one person responded “Curse this God-forsaken world!” The Ten Foot Poll congratulates its audience on it’s lack of pessimism.

Please remember, the polls are always open at the Ten Foot Poll. Go to http://tenfootpoll.blogspot.com/ and vote in as many polls as you like, as many times as you like. Democracy is what makes America great.

In the words of that great champion of democracy Boss Tweed, “I count the votes. So what are you gonna do about it?” And likewise, in the words of the great mass of unwashed Ten Foot Poll readers, “You and what army?”

Nuts!

2005-11-07T10:58:00.000-08:00

Nuts!
What do you do when you get a pistachio nut with a shell you can't open?
Throw it out.
Throw it back in the jar and worry about it later.
Swallow it shell and all.
Get out the power tools.
Curse this God-forsaken world!
I don't eat pistachio nuts for this very reason.
Other (please explain in Comments)

Crack it open

Political Poll

2005-11-03T06:08:00.000-08:00

The polls are always open at Ten Foot Poll. Feel free to vote on any poll on any page of this blog. Operators are standing by.

Political Poll
What is your political affiliation?
Democrat
Republican
Independent
Whatever my wife wants me to be.
Elephants. No, I mean...what are those other things? Mules? Wait--do they have pandas?
Green
Red
Mauve
Black and blue
Neoreactionary Progressive
Conservative Conservationist
Monarchist
Compassionate Bleeding Heart
Don't know
Other (leave comment on blog)

See the Spin

alt.tv.comedy-central.daily-show Poll

2005-11-02T04:39:00.000-08:00

Today's poll was inspired by alt.tv.comedy-central.daily-show. You can see the thread at http://groups.google.com/group/alt.tv.comedy-central.daily-show/browse_frm/thread/c57855368bba1026/211fbaf608605e95?hl=en#211fbaf608605e95 using Google, or using any news reader at alt.tv.comedy-central.daily-show under the thread entitled "Vote!".

alt.tv.comedy-central.daily-show Poll
What do you get when you cross George W. Bush with a gorilla?
A retarded gorilla.
Jenna and Barbara
A retarded gorilla. When you cross George W. Bush with a retarded gorilla, you get Jenna and Barbara.
Other (please leave a comment explaining what the 'other' is).

Take a look at what you get

Subsidiary Question
Who else can I vote for?
Jeff Gannon
Jeff Gannon
Jeff Gannon
Jeff Gannon

Jef Gannon

What's News?

2005-11-01T07:40:00.000-08:00

As always, please vote in as many polls as you want.

What's the best source of news?
Media
Newspapers
WSTV-Schenectady ("If it happens, we tell you!")
The Ten Foot Poll
Scott McClellan
Back of Rice Krispies boxes
Tea leaves
Nike commercials
The Hooterville World Guardian
Your own blog
Other (leave comment)

Be the First to Know!

Status Assessment Poll

2005-10-28T08:40:00.000-07:00

How's it going?
Eh.
It's going.
It's going, but not far enough.
It's going to pot.
A little pot right now would keep me going.
It's going so great, I'm gone!
Other (leave comment)

See where it went.

Baaaaa Humbug

2005-10-26T05:21:00.000-07:00

Baaaaa Humbug
Which sick sheik's sheep's sick?
First
Second
Third
Fourth
Fifth
Sixth
Seventh
Other (leave comment)

Pull the wool off your eyes.

Rove/Libby Indictment Poll

2005-10-24T05:30:00.000-07:00

Indictment Poll
Should Karl Rove and Scooter Libby be indicted?
Yes
Yes
Of course.
Hang the bastards!

Rip The Cover Off This!

Keyword Search Poll

2005-10-19T06:48:00.000-07:00

What should I mention gratuitously to increase traffic on this site by snagging people searching for something else?
Sex
God
Karl Rove
Apple Ipod
I hate Britney Spears!
James Bond
Jennifer Anniston Boobs
Enlarge your penis!
You don't know me but I'm an official in Nigeria.
Aflac duck
Milli Vanilli
Other (leave comment)

Who's Hot!

Halloween Poll

2005-10-18T06:16:00.000-07:00

What kind of candy will you be handing out for Halloween?
Chewy stuff
Hard stuff
Fruit
Wax lips
Processed cheese food
Chocolate-covered razor blades
Reggie bars
I'll just hand back out whatever my kids bring home
Don't know

Unmask this Poll

Why Do Fools Fall in Love?

2005-10-15T13:16:00.000-07:00

A Musical Poll
Why do fools fall in love?
How should I know? Ask the fool on the hill.
Everybody plays the fool.
Kiss me, you fool!
Yes, I know the actual quote is "Kiss me, my fool!" Like Theta Bara is gonna care anymore.
Fool me once, shame on--shame on you. Fool me--you can't get fooled again.
Because, because, because, because, because--because of the wonderful things he does!

See the Man Behind the Curtain!

Ignorance

2005-10-13T06:28:00.000-07:00

Ignorance
Are you ignorant?
Yes
No
Don't know

Become informed!

-----> Subsidiary Question

2005-10-13T02:48:00.000-07:00

Subsidiary ignorance
What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don't know.
I don't care.

Us vs Them

2005-10-12T09:02:00.000-07:00

Us vs Them
Who are you?
Us
Them
Us, but I secretly sympathize with Them.
Us, but I openly sympathize with Them.
Them, but I secretly sympathize with Us.
I'm Them! Us suck!
I used to be a moderate, but Them forced me to be Us.
Us rule!
Us are Them.
I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.
Wait, let me look.

No Them Allowed!

Aggression Poll

2005-10-12T06:40:00.000-07:00

Aggression Poll
Are you gonna do something about it?
Yes
No
You and what army?

Let's See What You Got